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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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After what feels like a million hours, we finally nail the presentation. I’m pumped! We’re ready to roll. But then, I get a call from the higher-ups. They want changes. I’m like, “Are you kidding me? We just finished!” My blood’s boiling. I mean, can’t they see we’re in Vila-Nova-de-Foz-Coa, not some corporate jungle?

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